WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A WEEKEND WITHOUT FOOTBALL? (We Honestly Don’t Want to Know)
If you’ve ever found yourself rearranging your socks by color, reorganizing your spice rack alphabetically, or watching paint dry on a quiet Sunday afternoon—please, seek help. Or better yet, join us for this weekend’s FKF Nandi Sub-Branch league action! Because honestly, a weekend without football is like tea without sugar—painfully sad and slightly pointless.
This weekend, our local titans are back at it, with boots laced, jerseys tight, and egos inflated. Here’s what to expect from the matches scheduled for April 26th and 27th:
Saturday, April 26: Prison Break or Repeat Sentence?
Kapsabet Prison FC vs Lolminingai FC – 1:00 pm, Kapsabet Showground
The prison boys are out (not literally… we hope) and ready to lock horns with Lolminingai FC, who, judging by their goal difference of -22, seem to have been playing football using instructions from a cooking book. Both sides are deep in the relegation zone and in desperate need of points—or divine intervention.
Sunday, April 27: A Full Course of Drama
Turf Sharks vs Taunet FC – 12:00 pm, Kapsabet Showground
This could be a fish fry. Turf Sharks, sitting 15th with the worst goal difference in the league (-18), are hosting 12th-placed Taunet FC. If the Sharks don’t stop leaking goals, we might need to rebrand them as Turf Tadpoles.
Gonga Gonga vs Kaptien FC – 1:00 pm, Chemundu Sec
Gonga Gonga (currently chilling in 10th) take on the mighty Kaptien FC, third on the table and sniffing the title scent. Expect noise, drama, and goals. Gonga’s backline will need to be less wobbly than their team name sounds.
Kiplolok FC vs Kechire FC – 1:00 pm, Kiplolok Pri Sch
Fifth vs 11th. Kiplolok have been quietly climbing the ladder like a ninja with shin pads. Kechire, on the other hand, seem to score for fun (20 goals) and concede for even more fun (23 goals). Who needs balance when you can have chaos?
Collabo United vs Kayodestcer – Suspended
Collabo fans were ready for a showdown—but it looks like Kayodestcer FC have officially ghosted the league after three walkovers. Word has it their captain tried to show up last week using Google Maps and ended up in Kericho. Suspension confirmed. Sad for football, but great news for Collabo, who still top the table comfortably with 29 points. They’ll now spend the weekend polishing their boots and egos.
Lessos FC vs Irimis FC – 1:00 pm, Lessos Pri Sch
Fourth-placed Lessos welcome Irimis, who are 14th and looking shakier than a three-legged stool. Can Lessos tighten their grip on a top-three spot? If Irimis’ form holds, this might be more practice than match.
Kapsasur United vs Nandi Bullets – 2:00 pm, Kapsabet Showground
Now this—THIS—is the match to watch. Second-placed Nandi Bullets, just three points behind the leaders, are out to keep their title dreams alive against the unpredictable Kapsasur United. It’s bullets vs… whoever shows up in Kapsasur shirts. Expect fire, flair, and probably a sideline argument or two.
Final Whistle
As the season heats up, the drama, tension, and occasional football brilliance continues to roll in like matatu music on full blast. Whether you’re a die-hard fan, a casual enthusiast, or just someone looking for an excuse to avoid weekend chores—FKF Nandi has got you covered.
So ditch the Netflix, bring your vuvuzela, and catch the action live. Because honestly, what would you do on a weekend without football?
Wilfrey Siahi, Secretary General, FKF Nandi Branch.